Creative Journaling

Over the last couple of weeks I have been so engrossed in finishing Rising Strong by Brene Brown, and now I have had my face in a new book called Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. I have also had my pen in hand and journal in front of me and letting the words flow. This has been a wonderful time of finding some understanding in my life for what I have been through, dealing with and what I plan for my future.




I used to journal a lot when my kids were young and I was in the throws of my eating disorder and un-diagnosed coeliacs disease, where I was not retaining any nutritional value in what I was trying to eat. I would sit in my lounge room, note book in hand and pen poised and out would come all the crap that was within me. I was at a breaking point in my life, at that point of writing. I stopped writing once I moved to my new home (13 years ago) I re-read parts of those past journals before throwing them out, they were very dark times in my life and don't ever want to go back there again. Even though I have spent time over the past couple of years blogging and sharing my life's experiences, I have now gone back to writing in a journal.

I am finding that writing in my journal now is allowing me to navigate a more positive time in my life, even though there are still negatives happening around me. In starting my journal writing again I have allowed myself the time to vent my frustrations, ask myself relevant questions that I can answer straight away or ponder on, then come back and answer later. I have also found that when I get ideas for my novel I can put them down in my journal, come back to it later and move those thoughts into my book that I am writing my novel in.

My journal isn't just writing,  I used to draw and paint as well. I had a particular style to my art, and I am sure even though I haven't drawn or painted for few years now, that it hasn't left me. I am looking forward to the times each day I can spend either writing or even drawing and seeing just how much I have changed over the last 15 years, and in five years or so when I can pick up my journals and re-read and look through what I was dealing with and what my life was about then to where it will be at that time.

"This is in part because as you write you inevitably return to the centre of your being, to your stable sense of 'I'. And also, when it comes to the art of reflecting, on which a sense of inner stability and self-possession depends, journal writing really is the 'tool of tool.' " This is taken from Page 99 of Stephanie Dowrick's book Creative Journal Writing, the art and heart of reflection.

Have a great week

DoryBlu

Slight Change in Direction

Its interesting, when previously you had your next twelve months planned and ready to roll, then with in a few weeks everything changes, well not quite everything, but small details of the original goal. I find it interesting that the universe can put along our path hurdles that we have the choice to jump, go around or go under to make it. We have the choice to which direction we can take to get passed the hurdle and on towards the original goal, for me it will be a jump, so I can learn, understand and grow. 

I am currently reading Brene Brown's book Rising Strong. From the moment I picked it up and started reading it has touched me in ways a book never has. I have learnt more about myself and my own way of dealing with my emotions and continual recovery than I have ever before. I guess this is why I am making a slight change in direction to my dreams. My dreams them selves haven't changed, only the timing of reaching them. I feel that over time I have changed and this is a good thing for myself. I have learnt things about who I am over the past few months, and these are things that have helped me to realise that making directional changes are ok. 

Many a time I have been told I have one speed...flat out. This time I have decided to slow down. Take some time to learn, and understand things more. Even if there are bigger changes to come for me, then I can be confident I am strong enough to take them on and I am almost excited about what is to come no matter what "it" is. Its time for me to be more "human" than "super human" I guess.

Have an amazing week, Take time to Be Bold or Italic and be confident in oneself.

DoryBlu

Vulnerability

Being vulnerable in my opinion is one of the hardest things to be in life. I have spent so many years of my life protecting myself from being vulnerable, that way I wouldn't get hurt any more than I already was. It was easier to live my life protecting myself with something I wasn't, than to be the real and authentic me. How do we know when we are being authentic? I believe only the individual person can answer that. For me it was allowing myself to feel emotion, not hide from it, and to believe I was worth something. That I was allowed to look at the world with love, creativity, curiosity, and know that I am going to be hurt at times, but I am strong enough to bounce back.

Currently I am reading Brene Brown's book Rising Strong. I wish I could have read this in my teens, and maybe I hope today, that back then I would have found what she was writing was enough to shock me to understand that starving myself wasn't the way to live and to know I was and am worth so much more than trying to kill myself. I can now see that Brene Brown's words can touch so many, that don't see their self worth, for what ever reason and feel that by being someone that they are not to be easier, when in the end we are supposed to be our real selves and if we don't fit into the world around us as easy as others, well you know what that is fine, we are supposed to be different and if people around you don't like that, then they shouldn't be in your life, if you need to be someone else in order to keep them happy.

Being vulnerable in a world that criticizes everything, is hard and very uncomfortable, though it is important to know deep with in your own heart and mind that you need to follow your path in life, not anyone else. We need to be strong enough with in ourselves to know, that if we are different that is more than fine and we are the ones that can make a difference in such a harsh world.

We go through so many struggles in life and they are part of our story (as Brene Brown puts in her book), and we need to face each stage of the struggle, the learning and the resolution. To know that in  the end we lived our stories to the best we could and no matter what we are happy.

Take that giant leap of faith and believe in who you truly are.

DoryBlu