The Universe Never Gives Us a Straight Path In Life....

Another Christmas is over and a new year is just around the corner. I am not one to make New Years Resolutions as they never seem to work. Though this year I have sat down and have written my goal list for 2017 with dates to reach my goals.  While I am sitting quietly and reading a beautiful book called "A Woman's Shed" by Gill Heriz, I feel my innerself being stirred up to think back to when I would sit and paint for hours on end, and only feel like I had been painting for just minutes. Times when I would sit and do stitcheries for quilt tops and cushions. The feel for maybe getting back to these is coming fore front to my mind. The inner creative is seeing what I have left behind when I felt like I had failed something.

So much has happened over the past 12 months. With foot surgery and not being able to run ever again, to thinking about selling my second bike. Then hubby loosing his job for an extended period of time and the financial stresses alone was hard to deal with. Saying good-bye to our beautiful 13 1/2 year old Golden Retreiver to cancer, and saying hello to a beautiful 2 year old German Shepherd in such a short period of time. I have come to feel settled a bit more. My writing of my first novel is going well, even with a bit of a break, as work was busy and time has been exceptionally limited.

With the beginning of 2017 just days away, it is time to make my own space, my own creative space and turn a crappy 2016 into an awesome 2017. I want 2017 to be a year of creativity in many areas, writing, painting, producing my own range of journals. Its time to come home to the inner creative.

Take time before Jaunary 1, 2017 to see where you wish the coming year to take you, or where you want to go.

Have a great end to 2016 and I hope 2017 brings you all you wish and dream of.

Hayley xx

Life Can Challenge Us.

It has been a while since my last post, and a lot has been happening, most of it not good, though dealing with each day as it comes. It has been interesting to look back over the last 10 months and realise so much has gone wrong and how stressful my life has been. I have been very lucky in that I have had my health through it all. Though my mental status has been pushed to breaking point more than once.

I have come to see so many changes in my life, ones that are good and exciting, though some that I have questioned more than once. I have always for as long as I can remember always used exercise to sooth me when I am stressed out. For the first time in my 40+ years I have done the opposite. Running was my favourite go to, and that has been taken away from me, since I had foot surgery back in March. I haven't been on my bike in more than two and half years. and I spent every spare minute in the previous 12 months swimming preparing for a marathon swim. I have spent most of my spare time over the last 6 months writing the first draft to my first novel. I have enjoyed the quiet time more than I thought I would. I have though found it a little, almost scary that I have come to find more happiness in the quiet times of my life than in the noise of sport.

Life puts challenges before us, its up to us to deal with those challenges in the best way we can. Those challenges can also show us the changes we need to make in our own lives to live a more balanced life, and more fullfilled life. I can say my life over the last ten months has changed significantly, from a sports-aholic to an aspiring novelist that enjoys the company of her books, note books, pens and trusty lap top, compared to being out training every day or other day. My new reality even though there are challenges allows me to run away to another world of my imagination a place I never really went to from my early teens till my early 40's. Now my imagination has permission to run as wild as it wishes.

Take care everyone

Hayley xx

November 2016

This week I start Nanowrimo, this is where people from around the world spend the month of November writing 50,000 words for a novel. Each person downloads their word count of what they have writing each day and by the end of the month you hope you have reached your goal of 50,000 words. My daughter has done nanowrimo a few times and loves it, and as I have started writing my first novel and am already 20,000 words into my first draft, oh and the 20,000 words I have already done don't count, thought I would have a go. The bonus to doing NaNoWrimo is that if I get the 50,000 words done I will only have another 30,000 to go to finish my first draft. Plus it will push me to make sure I get some writing done each day, or if I don't get one day done then I know I need to make the effort to catch up as much as possible, so more than anything it keeps me accountable to my goal.

My writing has become such a central part of my life, as I take time out from marathon swimming and stay doing short course swimming instead. But as our Spring has been still more of an extended Winter the want to swim just hasn't been there, the drive for swimming hasn't been there either. Writing has become some where I can take myself to an imaginary place and life of my characters, feel their sadness, their joy, the laughter, and so much more. I can sit in my favourite coffee shop and plug in my computer, drink my coffee and allow myself to go, to leave my reality and go into an almost parallel world and be someone else for a little while with words, I can feel free, or restricted or just someone else for a few hours. Usually after a writing session I have this light feeling. Happiness that I have made it through another 2000 plus words and the story moves on and new characters arise, some leave and new things can happen. The hardest part of letting your intuition give you the words to write and the visuals of the story (well that is how it happens for me), is to let your mind get out of the way and let the deeper inner voice speak and show you what is possible.

As we step into a new month, and for some a month of trying to write 50,000 words for a novel, and others its the start of maybe a new job, a new dream, a new goal, what ever it is chase it with all your heart, hope, faith and believe that you can catch it with both hands and your heart. Have a wonderful week and be true to yourself.

DoryBlu

Enlightenment or inner understanding...

Over the last week I have felt a change in myself. I won't call it an enlightenment, more an understanding of inner quietness. For most of my life I have needed to have a lot of noise around me to stop myself from thinking. I have not been one to like thinking to much as I would always have my mind running over all the hurt and negative things in my life, not the positives and the happy things.

Currently I am reading an amazing book, "The Power of Now", by Eckhart Tolle, Its interesting to read a perspective as Eckhart Tolle's in the way he describes what enlightenment is, "your natural state of felt oneness with Being. It is a state of connectedness with something immeasurable and indestructible, something that, almost paradoxically, is essentially you and yet is much greater than you. It is finding your true nature beyond name and form." For me I was and have been for many years so focused on my appearance and what others thought of me. I was wrapped up in being something, thinking there was more and was always searching outside of myself for the material and emotional needs. I never looked for it with in myself.

I have come to feel an inner change, one that looks for the moments of quiet, to be able to sit and ponder from with in myself, not to search the outer world for answers to feel happy or beautiful. I am my own person, I am unique, I am creative and I am me. I now love the moments I can sit in my garden, my mind quiet and being able to truly listen to natures whisper. Its been interesting also to begin writing my first fictional novel. Its wrapped around a garden and the relationships that it entwines with people who visit and work in the garden. Writing my novel has also spilled over into my reality, I have been spending my weekends weeding, clearing new garden beds and planting new plants. For this summer I am planning to be able to sit out under my patio and write, enjoying the birds singing, the breeze on a warm day and watching the butterflies, insects, lizards and more wonder around the garden and around me.

For me I wouldn't use the word 'enlightenment', I like better the use of Inner Understanding, the understanding that the material world isn't going to give what the soul needs, the soul needs us to be in quietness from our minds to be able to hear the soul, for its needs and solutions.

If you have the chance to find "The Power Of Now" please take the time to read it and find with in yourself just how wonderful life can be, once we start quietening our minds to be able to listen to our soul and in turn I believe our lives will be more fulfilling than what the material world can give us.

Hayley

What do we live by?

For so long I thought I was living by the words above. Well how wrong was I! These actually were the words I should have been living by, but instead, I was living a life full of what if's? I'm not good enough, my passion was in the wrong line of thought, my presence was always looking either in the past or to far in the future and not in the now. I had no clarity at all, I had compassion for others, but it might have been for my own gain, I hated the thought of being vulnerable, I had my moments of being creative, but in the wrong place. So where did I change and start living by the above mentioned 10 Words Everyone Should Live By...

That moment or moments that you realise that you can't control every aspect of your life, and you just need to let go of certain expectations of people and I guess in some way yourself, and believe that the universe has everything in hand and it will only give to you, what you can handle to learn from and experience. We fear the unknown in life, because of our need to have control, once we learn to let that fear go, and feel that we are worth so much to ourselves, we will take everyday that we have on earth to learn the lessons we need to, feel the experiences we can and feel every emotion under the sun. This is called living, not just existing, but really living.

Today I registered for a swim event for next February (2017) and for the first time I can say I am doing it because I want to and it will be fun, not because I have to, to keep my weight off, or its part of further training for a bigger event. Just for the pure fun that I know the event can be, for the place that it is held and for the atmosphere that is there on that weekend in February.

Its nice to finally be in a stage of my life where I am happy with myself more than anything else, that I am following my dreams and chasing my goals and even better living my life with purpose, not because of a mental illness, or emotional pain. Just because I am truly happy and loving life, even with some difficulties that are in it, but life isn't meant to be easy.

Have a wonderful week...

Hayley

Making True Changes

It has been a few months of roller coaster riding in life, though with small changes I have been able to deal with the negatives easier than I would have only 12 months ago. I have been spending plenty of time reading novels, and technical books, plus writing my own novel and spending more time out in my garden.

My husband and I have a half acre of land with a great house on it, though we have let the gardens go a bit over the winter, and so over the last three weeks I have spent a lot of my weekends out in the sunshine and pulling bucket loads of weeds from the around the place. I have managed to get three garden beds completely ready for mulching and new plants. I have a love a roses and I would love to have more cottage plants in my garden beds,  but our summers here are harsh and we are usually on water restrictions through out summer, so we plant more native Australian plants that flower at different part of the year and once they are established need less water, than an English Cottage Garden.

As well as my gardening I have spent time organizing my study, with new bookshelves and re-arranging the furniture and making it more comfortable and inviting to spend time writing here, and not going to the coffee shop all the time, even though that is great fun and fills me with lots of coffee and amazingly tasty caramel slice.

I am also going back to things that I loved 12 years ago that I left behind when my life became hard and side tracked with dealing with an eating disorder and way to much exercise. I went for my first meditation session yesterday and I can say, it was wonderful to be able to fall back into such a calming way that has helped clear my head and heart.

My days are going to be heading down my life's path, no matter what the universe puts before me, I know I have the strength and determination to meet each hurdle with a positive attitude, and take every experience with gratitude for what I learn and keep moving forward.

Being a Free Spirit

A couple of months ago I walked into one of my favourite local shops, Ambrosium, it is full of wonderful crystals, books, figurines and more. I was taken by a particular book, while looking for another book on Faeries (Fairies). The one I was drawn to is called Bridges, Ancient Wisdom Revealed (Esoteric Philosophy for the Seekers of Today). I brought the book home excited to read it, though left it on my desk for a couple of months longer, until yesterday I just picked it up, put it in my bag and went to my favourite coffee shop to start reading.

It was interesting to remember the day I bought the book, and yesterday when I started reading it. I have been very tired with work, home and not sleeping particularly well, with every night this week dreaming. When I dream, especially this week I have remembered ever dream that I have had and with a lot of detail. I am a strong believer that when dreams are extremely vivid, and when remembered on waking have messages from the universe.

Bridges, has got me thinking and already questioning so much about life. I hear regularly people saying, "you only live once!" do we really? could there be some truth to reincarnation? or are we not ready to comprehend the idea of life after death? For me I believe we can have contact through the 'spiritual' world with deceased loved ones, whether with help from a 'medium', meditation, dreams and other ways. I guess what I am trying to say without getting to deep with this is, are we living our lives with curiosity or are we just going day by day through the motions?

Over this past week I have become more and more aware of just how much time I have wasted due to my illness (eating disorder) and my obsessions with sports and wanting to be so good at things and pushing myself to hard physically and mentally in the wrong direction. I have had some amazingly wonderful memories flood my mind this week from when I was a child, playing out doors and really enjoying the simplest of things in my life then. From playing 'mud pies' with my pets and 'invisible friends' (I would have been between 5-8 years old). Riding my BMX bike around the back yard, finding wonder in the butterflies that played in the garden, the goanna that would hide in the garden and my golden retriever barking at it but never brave enough to go any closer. Being 'free spirited' I guess. Then as I got older things in life changed, you have more chores to do around the house, you have homework to do, you have expectations to meet, and the list goes on. As we get older we forget what makes us truly happy, or what makes us smile, and I mean smile from our hearts.

This week I have come to see that I can make the changes that are necessary for me to truly enjoy my life, be curious about life, about the universe, about so much around us. I understand my 'purpose' in this life and every day I am taking steps to fill my life with my purpose and to share that with others around me.

If you could take yourself back to a time in your childhood that you felt like a 'free spirit', truly and genuinely happy, would you like to be able to feel that everyday as an adult? I have decided to find something everyday that brings a smile from my heart, and something that makes me curious about life, and my life that I am surrounded by.

Dream...Goal...Journey...

Is it enough to just have a dream? or do we need more than just the dream?
I have a dream to write a novel,  I have been writing as often as I can, I have been reading as much as I can. Is that enough? I didn't have a deadline until recently to have my first draft done by, now that I have put a deadline in place I feel this now has helped me to search harder for more time for research and writing.

I am attending a writers convention in September and have set myself the deadline for one or two completed manuscripts to pitch next year to publishers. So now the dream is a goal with a plan and now with deadlines to meet. Does this make the dream more real that it now is a goal, or is it still a dream until it comes to fruition?

 I have the dream to have a novel published, I have a plan to write the novel, I have a deadline to have manuscripts ready to submit to publishers, now what? Is the dream needing anything more to make it come alive. I have passion for the subject(s) that I am writing about, I have to make time to research and write, I need to make sure I stay persistent through the journey of writing my novel(s) especially when I feel it all getting to much and having moments of frustration with scenes. Staying dedicated to the dream will not sway, though there is the journey that is still very important. Its good to see in our mind the end product, but its the lessons we learn on the way, which can be so much more important. We learn more about ourselves, people around us, and the best ways to get something done and accomplished with the help from other like minded people. I believe being among other writers and publishers at conventions and a like events is extremely beneficial to making my dream a reality.

Have an awesome week, dream, write your dream into goals and put them all into action, and most of all enjoy the journey.

DoryBlu

Fear, Hope, Courage, Faith and Dreams...

Where do the words Fear, Hope, Courage and Faith fit into your dreams and goals?

You want to dream big. You are full of excitement as you see the dream come true in your mind. You thrive on the excitement of the dream and goal for days, then suddenly something in your mind starts to doubt your dream, starts to question your dream and your excitement. A shadow falls over your dream...Fear and Doubt now start to reek havoc on your thoughts, Am I going to be good enough, will people like it, will I have the time, oh and here is the best one that Fear and Doubt like to bring up "What were you thinking!!"

You suddenly start to fear that so much will change for the negative if you reach your dream/goal and yes things will change, even if those changes are small, or big. So Fear and Doubt run a muck in your mind, how do you deal with them? Do you run and hide and say to yourself, "yeah they're right, its stupid to think I can do..." or are you going to stand strong in what you believe that you can do and reach that wonderful dream/goal and feel pride in yourself that you are worth the changes that the dream will make in your life and the lives of those close to you.

This is where Hope, Faith and Courage come into the journey of your dream. Though we do need a little bit of fear to keep us grounded, in my mind, though not enough to totally derail us from our dream(s).

Hope, Faith and Courage are sometimes a little hard to keep balanced while we are on our journeys to our dream/goal. They are the hardest to maintain, where Fear and Doubt just know how to wonder on in. We need to surround ourselves with like minded people whom are on the same or similar journey, These people help us keep faith, hope and courage within ourselves as we see that they are doing the same and in away we to are helping them in their journey to their dreams and goals. Fill space around you with what you dream of, so for instance being a novel writer, more books, writing equipment, magazines about writing, going to the library near you for inspiration, becoming a member of a writers group, and so on. Doing these things will keep your hope, faith and courage going in the right direction and yes there will still be moments where doubt and fear will try to prize the door open wider for them to fill more space, though by filling your space with your dreams identity, affirmations, vision boards, these will help keep you excited and seeking the path and journey to reach your goal and dreams.

Fill your space with that drives your dreams, make the choice between faith and fear, having a little fear in what you are doing is healthy, it becomes unhealthy when you let Fear take over and your faith, hope and courage can not grow and manifest to keep you on the path of your chosen journey.

Enjoy your week and live life to the fullest.

DoryBlu

The Inner Child and Your Imagination.

Looking at a picture of an abandoned mansion in America on Facebook the other day triggered something in my imagination, I managed to sit in my favourite coffee shop this morning and put pen to paper. I got the outline of a new story down and when I have time to sit and start filling in the gaps of the outline. That moment when you feel excited about something, something that is within you, something that only you can see at this point. You know others might not like it, but you will and do already. That is your imagination, and for me that one picture was enough for my imagination to run riot and have fun.

Your imagination. That is your way, That is your way to escape one reality into another.  Find something that catches your attention, let the inner child grab it and take it where it wants to, you might find yourself giggling at something and others have no idea and start giggling with you for no reason. Your imagination can take you to so many places without leaving where you are right now. We get so bogged down in our world of work, study, paying bills, family and so on that we don't remember how to imagine things as much. I know it has taken me a long time to let myself re engage with my inner child and imagination.

Now Dumbo is a very well known character and he believed he could fly, lets be kids again just for a moment and believe we can fly as well. Where would you fly to and who would your fly with? let your imagination run away with you just for a little while.

Looking at the picture of Dumbo, does it remind you of your childhood? does it tug at your heart strings? Or are you just saying, that's kids stuff and I don't have time for that?

What ever your week brings for you, please stop and let your inner child and imagination just wonder, and maybe you will see something you haven't seen since you were a child, before the world got to real.

Have an awesome week.

DoryBlu

That Moment of Clarity

Today was one of those days, heavy rain and hail storms. I sat in my local coffee shop, eating my amazing lunch of lamb shanks with french beans and mash potato. I sat thinking initially as I was going to write in my journal, but then decided it was time. Time to start my novel properly.

Pen and paper ready to go, then the thoughts started, it was like a tap was turned on, and off the pen went.  The words just kept flowing page after page after page. It was so amazing, that I could sit and just let it all flow, it was meant to happen.

This past week has been a bit rough emotionally and it was great to sit and make the decision to start. I had written in my journal just yesterday that it was time to start, and that I did. Four hours went by so very quickly, I had finished and was due to go back to work, I had this amazing feeling of tiredness, but not being tired from stress or frustration like I have been, but that feeling of just being tired because I was busy, but I wasn't having to force the thoughts, they were just flowing through me. It was a strange kind of tired. I was happy and excited at the same time.

I had been in a mood for the past few days and to go back into work and feel like nothing was wrong and that all was good in the world, was so awesome, a feeling I want to hold on to so tightly and keep forever. I saw that writing for me is my way of escaping my stresses, to be allowed to become my characters, even if it is just for a few hours a day.

Have an amazing weekend

DoryBlu

Building Your Dreams

The universe puts so much in front of us for many reasons. We are never given more than we can handle, even if we feel at the time we are drowning. Its these times when we wonder if chasing our dreams is worth while. It all seems to hard, working, studying, family commitments and so on, where do we find the time we need to chase our own dreams?

At times our dreams might feel that they need to take a back seat for a little while to allow us to get through times where we just can't fit them in with other commitments. Don't let your dreams completely fade away. Leave a light on in your mind, body and soul for them to know you will come back to them as soon as you can. Or do you just say "hey, you are a dream I need to work on every day to reach the final outcome." If you need to work on it each day and feel you just don't have the time to put hours into it, take at least ten to fifteen minutes of your time that you can. We can't give up on chasing our dreams when life becomes busy, we need to still have them or we will feel our lives have less meaning to them.

Dreams can be made up of so many things, a better career, a bigger house, a better car, writing a novel, completing an Ironman, running a marathon, swimming in the ocean, and the list goes on. We need to look at the process that we need to go through to make it to the end or result of that dream. The process is part of the dream as it is part of the journey we take to get there. We will hit lumps and bumps in the road, we may even take a slight detour to get there, but no matter what, we will one day make it to the destination we know is our dream.

 Chase your dreams, enjoy the journey and learn the lessons.

DoryBlu

Creative Journal Writing

Today I finished reading "Creative Journal Writing" by Stephanie Dowrick. The universe picked the right time for me to read this amazing book. It is beautifully written. I have journaled previously in times that were dark, filled with sad times of feeling like I didn't belong. I stopped journaling when I came out of that time of my life and we had moved house. It is obviously time the universe is letting me know that I need to return to this beautiful creative endeavor.  It has allowed me to have a private place to feel safe and comfortable to put my thoughts down. I have a safe place to ask the universe the questions that I need answering, the ideas that come to me for writing, the areas I want to go back to in my life and be creative once again, without the negatives that were there once before.

Journaling is allowing me to take the steps that I need to, still in my recovery and to see that I am safe with in my own feelings and thoughts and even if my thoughts are not always positive as I need to process the negative thoughts as much as I need the positive thoughts.

For the first time in a long time I am seeing where I want my life to go and what I need to let go of, not stress over, and pay more attention to. It is time for me to spend part of each day writing what is within my heart, mind and soul to help me in my journey through life. I have come to see that I don't need to conform to what is all around me, but to be happy to have similarities to others that we connect in the jigsaw of life.

Be true to how you are, be authentic to what you believe to be true. Take the time for yourself.

DoryBlu

Creative Journaling

Over the last couple of weeks I have been so engrossed in finishing Rising Strong by Brene Brown, and now I have had my face in a new book called Creative Journal Writing by Stephanie Dowrick. I have also had my pen in hand and journal in front of me and letting the words flow. This has been a wonderful time of finding some understanding in my life for what I have been through, dealing with and what I plan for my future.




I used to journal a lot when my kids were young and I was in the throws of my eating disorder and un-diagnosed coeliacs disease, where I was not retaining any nutritional value in what I was trying to eat. I would sit in my lounge room, note book in hand and pen poised and out would come all the crap that was within me. I was at a breaking point in my life, at that point of writing. I stopped writing once I moved to my new home (13 years ago) I re-read parts of those past journals before throwing them out, they were very dark times in my life and don't ever want to go back there again. Even though I have spent time over the past couple of years blogging and sharing my life's experiences, I have now gone back to writing in a journal.

I am finding that writing in my journal now is allowing me to navigate a more positive time in my life, even though there are still negatives happening around me. In starting my journal writing again I have allowed myself the time to vent my frustrations, ask myself relevant questions that I can answer straight away or ponder on, then come back and answer later. I have also found that when I get ideas for my novel I can put them down in my journal, come back to it later and move those thoughts into my book that I am writing my novel in.

My journal isn't just writing,  I used to draw and paint as well. I had a particular style to my art, and I am sure even though I haven't drawn or painted for few years now, that it hasn't left me. I am looking forward to the times each day I can spend either writing or even drawing and seeing just how much I have changed over the last 15 years, and in five years or so when I can pick up my journals and re-read and look through what I was dealing with and what my life was about then to where it will be at that time.

"This is in part because as you write you inevitably return to the centre of your being, to your stable sense of 'I'. And also, when it comes to the art of reflecting, on which a sense of inner stability and self-possession depends, journal writing really is the 'tool of tool.' " This is taken from Page 99 of Stephanie Dowrick's book Creative Journal Writing, the art and heart of reflection.

Have a great week

DoryBlu

Slight Change in Direction

Its interesting, when previously you had your next twelve months planned and ready to roll, then with in a few weeks everything changes, well not quite everything, but small details of the original goal. I find it interesting that the universe can put along our path hurdles that we have the choice to jump, go around or go under to make it. We have the choice to which direction we can take to get passed the hurdle and on towards the original goal, for me it will be a jump, so I can learn, understand and grow. 

I am currently reading Brene Brown's book Rising Strong. From the moment I picked it up and started reading it has touched me in ways a book never has. I have learnt more about myself and my own way of dealing with my emotions and continual recovery than I have ever before. I guess this is why I am making a slight change in direction to my dreams. My dreams them selves haven't changed, only the timing of reaching them. I feel that over time I have changed and this is a good thing for myself. I have learnt things about who I am over the past few months, and these are things that have helped me to realise that making directional changes are ok. 

Many a time I have been told I have one speed...flat out. This time I have decided to slow down. Take some time to learn, and understand things more. Even if there are bigger changes to come for me, then I can be confident I am strong enough to take them on and I am almost excited about what is to come no matter what "it" is. Its time for me to be more "human" than "super human" I guess.

Have an amazing week, Take time to Be Bold or Italic and be confident in oneself.

DoryBlu

Vulnerability

Being vulnerable in my opinion is one of the hardest things to be in life. I have spent so many years of my life protecting myself from being vulnerable, that way I wouldn't get hurt any more than I already was. It was easier to live my life protecting myself with something I wasn't, than to be the real and authentic me. How do we know when we are being authentic? I believe only the individual person can answer that. For me it was allowing myself to feel emotion, not hide from it, and to believe I was worth something. That I was allowed to look at the world with love, creativity, curiosity, and know that I am going to be hurt at times, but I am strong enough to bounce back.

Currently I am reading Brene Brown's book Rising Strong. I wish I could have read this in my teens, and maybe I hope today, that back then I would have found what she was writing was enough to shock me to understand that starving myself wasn't the way to live and to know I was and am worth so much more than trying to kill myself. I can now see that Brene Brown's words can touch so many, that don't see their self worth, for what ever reason and feel that by being someone that they are not to be easier, when in the end we are supposed to be our real selves and if we don't fit into the world around us as easy as others, well you know what that is fine, we are supposed to be different and if people around you don't like that, then they shouldn't be in your life, if you need to be someone else in order to keep them happy.

Being vulnerable in a world that criticizes everything, is hard and very uncomfortable, though it is important to know deep with in your own heart and mind that you need to follow your path in life, not anyone else. We need to be strong enough with in ourselves to know, that if we are different that is more than fine and we are the ones that can make a difference in such a harsh world.

We go through so many struggles in life and they are part of our story (as Brene Brown puts in her book), and we need to face each stage of the struggle, the learning and the resolution. To know that in  the end we lived our stories to the best we could and no matter what we are happy.

Take that giant leap of faith and believe in who you truly are.

DoryBlu

The Sound Of Silence...

Silence can  be a place that scares you, comforts you, heals you, makes you want to  run-a-way. Silence is that place where there is no outside noise, but the quiet spoken voice of your soul.

What is your preference? Do you like the time when you can sit in silence and clear your mind, or does it scare you so much that you can't deal with being in such a state?

I have been in both. Most of,  if not all my years until recently I hated being anywhere that was quiet as I didn't wan to hear my soul speak. I loved all the noise around me, to stop myself from being able to think, to feel, to remember.

So what helped me make the change to now loving the silence? Amazingly enough finding a love for writing and seeing stories in my vision that I am able to capture and write, allowing my soul and the universe to speak to me through images and characters in my mind. I have had the ability to "hear" and at times "see". Now I know not everyone believes in angels, fairies, etc, but I do. I am lucky enough now to be healthy enough to enjoy my moments of solitude and quiet to listen to the universe and to learn so much and to be able to write. I now crave the quiet to hear and see and write as I feel like a drift off into another world, another place, another time. This time I feel such deep inner healing and new beginnings as well.

I have for so long put this part of me away from the world. I have had the inner voices of an eating disorder control me for so long, that at 40+ I have wished at times that I could go back to being ten and change so much, though if I did would I be the person I am today? No, probably not. I am learning very quickly that I can step forward and be the authentic person I see myself as today.

My favorite song at the moment is "Sound Of Silence" by Disturbed. Such a classic song originally done my Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel. This version by Disturbed has helped me over the past few weeks come to see that the sound of silence is an amazing place. This latest version is sung in such a touching way with grit and movement. Its a song I can listen to over and over again, with the volume turned right up and still feel like I am the only one on earth at that time. Then there are times when I can sit and listen to classical music which has never been a genre of music I have liked, though now as I allow myself to listen to new music and being curious about new things.

Please take some time to be in silence and you will hear the voice of your soul and universe talking to you.

Have such a beautiful week.

DoryBlu

That sudden moment...

 Today I had a sudden moment where I was sitting in my local cafe reading, "Big Magic" by Elizabeth Gilbert. I had this almost flashback to being about fifteen at school and having to make decisions on what I wanted to do when I grew up.

Here I was at fifteen trying to think like an adult, when I was still a teen. I had no life experience other than school. How was I supposed to know what I wanted to be when I was older?

I can now tell my fifteen year old self, what I should have done and decided on. Though would I have been where I think I would be, or would the universe still have me where I am now? It would be great to have a crystal ball to see what might have happened, if at fifteen, and knowing what I know now, would things be different or the same? Would my life lessons I was supposed to learn be the same just with different people and different places?

We can always play "what if?"Though I don't think it really gets us anywhere. I can honestly say today, I wish I had known of my true love for reading way back, a love and understanding of writing, but would I have my family that I have now, the great job I love, the amazing lessons I have learnt about myself and others around me? I guess I will never know. But what I do know is this:

I am creative, loving, understanding, different, unique, authentic, intuitive, myself, me. Someone who cares for animals, people around me, my family. a love for reading and learning from reading. I love to write, whether that be my blogs or my first fictional novel.

From today on wards, even though I am older and not fifteen, I can still be me, create my first novel, fill my life with what makes me happy and still learn so much. I can be what I want to be now, I don't have to wait for the future and know what I know now.

 Have an awesome weekend

DoryBlu

The Tea Chest...By Josephine Moon (Book Review)

I have just finished reading this beautiful book. Its the story of six women, all strong in their own right, though all unsure of aspects of their lives. As their lives do start to entwine with each other they realise so much about each other and also themselves.

Josephine Moon has written this beautifully, though I did find it a little difficult at the start with some jumping around to learn about the women, but once their backgrounds were understood, I couldn't put the book down and loved every part and minute of it.

Whether you are lover of tea or coffee, "The Tea Chest" is stunning, warm, funny, interesting, and more. Josephine Moon holds you in the story right till the last word, and the feeling when you finish the book makes you want more, or to pack up and find your own adventure.

On the back cover is the following: "An enchanting, witty novel about the unexpected situations life throws at us, and how love and friendship help us through. Written with heart and infused with a seductive scents of bergamot, Indian spices, lemon, rose and caramel, it's world you won't want to leave."

This is so very true, it is a book you can become encapsulated in and become part of the story and feel like you are in the Tea Chest with these ladies. You feel like you are friends with the women as well.

I hope you pick up a copy and enjoy reading it as much as I did.

I am now starting to read Elizabeth Gilbert's book Big Magic, Creative Living Beyond Fear. I have started the book today and am wanting to stay up all night reading.

Have an awesome weekend

DoryBlu

Be Who You Are

The world we live in seems so focused on who we should be according to society. I have vowed to not conform to what society wants. By this I mean, that I want to live a full life and not work to survive, but live, and I mean truly live. I deeply believe we are all hear for a reason, that reason sits with in us, not outside of us that we need to find. The external world, is there to show us clues, not what our purpose is. I believe we are born with a purpose to be here in life, no matter low long our lives are. There are lessons in the people we allow to intercept our lives and cross our paths, whether it be a short crossing or a life long one.

We all have our own dreams and goals to reach, we need to follow these dreams and make them real. I know society will judge us all no matter what we do. People we know will judge our dreams and question why we are chasing them. Don't let them discourage you from reaching beyond your dreams and the sky. Whether its paining, drawing, writing, a chosen sport, no matter who scary the dream and goal the better it will be when you reach it and make it come true!

Be yourself, and be authentic!!

Have an awesome week...

DoryBlu

Never Say Never!

While out for a walk this morning, I was thinking that I would never be able to do another Half Ironman event. I did the Busselton Half Ironman two years ago, and finished with a foot injury that has just had surgery on about two months ago. I have been told I wouldn't run again and after a while I became ok with that fact. Though walking today it crossed my mind that, what if...I could power walk the run section of the event. I am still able to swim and have been told that cycling will be fine as well.

With this idea running through my mind all day, I have managed to walk today 8.75km at work and walking from home to work as well and return walk. Its been so long since I have been able to be on my feet for this distance in a long time. The thought is to continue my swimming this year and re attempt Rottnest Channel, and then take on more intense training from March 2017 and do the half Ironman in May 2018.

No matter what we are faced with, I am sure we can find an alternative and keep going, even if that direction has to change just a little bit. Never Say Never, if you do, you might just miss out on an amazing experience.

Have a great day.

DoryBlu xx

Chasing Our Dreams

Today is the start of my second blog. I have one called No Wafer Here, which about my dreams of reaching my sporting goals in my life, and have found that I needed to start a second blog that is to do with other aspects of my life and dreams that I wish to reach. A long the way I hope to inspire many out there to reach for their goals and chase their dreams.

Here I will be sharing my love of photography, writing and nature. I am a woman in her mid 40's and happy with the life I have, and yes striving every day to chase my dreams to fruition and seeing all the positives in my life. Currently I am writing my very first novel, and learning the process of writing a novel . Reading lots of books to help with understanding the craft of novel writing. Spending time in nature as its one place where I can clear my mind and recenter myself to allow the universe to speak to me. Finding ways to be creative and to keep my mind free from negative places.

Creativity has always been a part of my life, though over the past five or six years I have stepped away from certain areas that I once enjoyed. Recently I  have entertained the idea of starting to draw again. I loved drawing, I had a very detailed style, a love for architecture, flowers and animals. I hope to get back to this in the coming months. Writing was something I loved when in high school and never took it any further. Its now time to bring loves of my childhood and the past to the fore front of my life to enjoy again.

Motivational quotes are a big part of my daily pathway. I love to share them, as I feel some that help me with what I am going through at the time or a positive spritz in my day that is needed I will share and hope that many others will receive a little something from them. So as we all step into another week, I look forward to sharing with you Chase Your Dreams.

Have an awesome week...

DoryBlu